yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize