i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
two words: eviction party
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize