Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Randomize
