I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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