i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I deserve this hangover.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
