I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
