Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
