sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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