why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize