Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize