he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
