Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
