i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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