This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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