Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Drunk is a universal language darling
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
