East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
