i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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