i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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