I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
