i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
