She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
