can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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