So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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