I'm passing your future prison.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
