girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize