i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
