11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
