The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
