if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
