He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
