so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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