I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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