your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
