There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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