I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Randomize
