We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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