She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
