I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You ruined the universe
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
