this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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