But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
