I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Randomize
