what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
whose ass print is on the piano?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
