i think i have two assholes
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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