Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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