Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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