I'm going to jail i love you
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize