I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
