I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize