I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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