The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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