I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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