Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize