Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
