i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
