Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize