shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
