I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
