So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
